a ghost in skin

I am already gone
dark circles weight my eyes
I leave my body fifteen times a day
the magic number is thirty three

all burdens are set aside
as I watch myself sleep
I let my soul drift
flirt with the afterlife
all those things that can ground me
I don't want 
food and feet
are overrated 

have you ever drifted with a thought?
chased dust particles in a ray of light?
life can sometimes just be chains that bind

I think about my daughter's favorite sneakers
all broken in and dirty
she has new shoes but won't wear them
even though her toes  are peeking through holes
I take images now like those favorite sneakers
and I tuck them away in this secret compartment
in my soul

my timeline is faltering 
I blink and a week is gone
I know things I shouldn't
my sadness just brings more of them
I am never alone
but always so lonely

when the darkness brings more clarity
than the light
faith becomes just a word
with little meaning
right now the only thing
​grounding me is pain

I am already just a ghost
in skin