and then she wasn't

when you hang out
with the dead
you see the living 
more clearly

i am peeling
a hard boiled egg

a snake sheds it skin

my daughter 
was quiet 
when she was born

i was quiet 
when she was 
born

death was close
then
and they thought
i didn't know

her father
was in the next room
when they told
him we might 
not make it

the angel of death told me
they were wrong
he didn't have his scythe
he told me everything
i needed to know


he brought my sister
a stillborn baby
showed
me her death

her name was
sabrina
she gave me
the gift of 
my mother's pain

i promised her
i would name my
child after her
if she would just
save her

she left
during the epidural
told me the name
i chose for my daughter
was the right name

Annabelle
was stuck
and then she wasn't

she was born
on Halloween
they put
a pumpkin hat
on her head

i held her
when i couldn't
remember she 
was mine

he sat in 
the corner
a stranger
 they praised
for not 
watching football
while i almost
died

i looked
down at this
this new human
being 

and i promised
to protect her 
from this fucked
up world
​