at my graduation the dead sit in metal folding chairs

my husband woke up with a hand on his back
that wasn't mine
had to sage the house again
 I think it was one of his grandfathers
the other spirits in the house
can't be accounted for
 it is a real dilemma

my neighbors won't stop having parties
we were invited to the last one
but I probably talked about death to much
it is hot today
​ I can't keep the doors open
because their posse is infringing in my yard
the dogs won't stop barking 

I listen to their conversations 
 it is roasting in here
I have opened two windows
one twenty something year old girl keeps coughing
hacking up a lung or three
she isn't smoking so I automatically think Covid19

I have been vaccinated
​but trust the government
about as much as some random dude in a dark alley 
​with his  dick hanging out 

although my head phones are on
 I can still hear their drunken glee
over the chorus of Jessie's girl
I spy a man in a blue Brooke's brothers
shirt handling a glass of wine
like it shouldn't be handled
I spy a blue tent which makes
me aware that they want to party
even if it rains

I have compassion
trapped in a canned condo
feasting off emergency canned goods
for months on end
I get it
they need to feel free again
but my dogs barked all night
at random ghosts 
I need my dogs to shut up

the dead are hanging outside the sliding
glass doors 
I banished them but they don't give a shit
they take me as seriously as X does
I watch them float amongst the living
draining energy 
warping time
it is going to be a long night

I burn a candle for the living 
and the dead
my dog licks absently at my hand
as if my hands are open wounds
everything smells of sage and palo alto
outside the world goes on

the dead and I we are one and the same
wonder if all this pretending
actually changes anything
some random dead guy on the porch
smoking a cigar
sends me an image of a cross and bones
on a bottle
he blows me a kiss
and I pretend to catch it 
as if I am nine 
as if it is a firefly in the night
at least we both still have a sense of humor 

the man in the blue Brooke's brothers shirt
turns around as if he sees the dead man 
shakes his head
takes another sip of his wine
the dead man winks at me
stubs his cigar out on his shoe
keep writing he says
before sauntering over to the party

the dogs start barking 
I close the window
shut the blinds
say a little prayer to Hecate
the dead sit behind her on metal folding chairs

it is my graduation
I stand at the crossroads
with a torch in one hand 
a key in the other
and she pushes me
on to the dark road
the shadows bow before me
I hold the torch before my path
the key grows warm in my hand
as I search for the door
in the distance I hear dogs barking
I am so close
I can feel it