blood apples

when all had left me
and everything I had ever known
was gone

I listened to Lana Del Ray
and Hozier
busied myself in night life
mingling with all  the sad lonely others
living like vampires

wine was blood
scars and tattoos
were jewels in the dark
Dionysus was laughing
as we smeared our faces
stuffed sorrow into our pockets
with dirty pennies

I danced on deaths doorstep
flirted with the idea
that the end was near enough
to close my eyes and fall

feathers drifting
from a split pillow
the tarot cards kept 
telling me
my time was running out
and I pretended I didn't care

I read them on the bathroom floor
in my underwear
smoking cigarettes like it was  
a full time job

my demons put me to bed
whispering dark poetry
that I needed to die to write
each day I looked away
as another part of me 
was discarded 

they tended to me
while I slow swam through hell
when they only saw my perfection
I watched their sharp teeth
turn to stars

they took the bones of my past
and cast them like runes
turned me towards the mirror
to show me my own sharp teeth
 fed me blood apples when
I couldn't eat

cloaked in darkness
 after a life 
of being vulnerable and naked
I learned to let them help me
now we sit here together

I lower my cloak so I can 
feel their kiss
and I  hear them whisper
my destiny

their teeth
graze my skin 
and I smile