her absence follows me

I am not sure how I can be this way
a medium that can't deal with death

a week ago I saw the grim reaper
my dog died early this morning
sometime before 3

it was unexpected
she was scared 
and in pain

there wasn't much time
I just put my hands on her
while the iv delivered 
the dose

I am afraid her spirit is still there
I can't feel her here
I can't breathe without her

a part of me has died 
she knew me in my old life
been by my side for 9 years

yesterday she was here
and now she is gone
her absence follows
me throughout the house
the way she used to

the ache of my grief echos
through space and time
to all the moments
I have ever experienced loss

this time
I don't want my heart
to recover