I am the lighthouse in a dead sea

if santa claus was a creepy spirit
with a horned crown
all the children would be
as fucked up as me

home alone yesterday
watching some alien movie
when my dogs start going
ballistic and I feel energy 
get that knot in my stomach
so I take a picture

this is what I got
a horned god 
gift giver

a light burns within me
that all the dead can see
I am the lighthouse
in a dead sea

there were orbs
 floating above
intense ghost man
my dogs stood at my side
barking while I held my
head in my hands

I keep wondering if they watch
me in the bathroom
while having sex
when I am having a private cry
while watching My Girl

then I wonder 
why I am wondering at all
last night I dreamt
of a shadow skeleton
putting itself together
on my ceiling

he turned his head 
all the way around
and smiled at me

I woke up in a cold sweat
and thought shit
that is a bad omen
my husband was asleep
but luckily
a felt a small body 
crawl into the bed
to hug me
another ghost child

I am the mother 
of spirit children
I have a posse 
of ghosts that appear
when I get sad

when I'm angry
demons appear
mouth full of teeth
ready for chaos

we suffer together
as the world turns

am I a shaman?
am I witch?
or am I just invisible enough
to be dead