lose yourself

I saw the spirit of my dog tonight
and you would think I know 
how to deal with this
that I am some sort of magi
but I am not

I have a gift I don't know how
to use and it is torture

I see the unseen
and nothing else seems real
like those astronauts that go 
to the moon they don't come 
back the same

I feel so lonely
seeing all these things
I don't want to see

demons leave handprints
on my door
aliens exist and just watch us
I think they might be the source
because when I try to meditate
an alien face appears

you can lose yourself 
in someone else's eyes
it can be enough
until you know that
everything you ever love
you will lose

my dead dog
poses for a picture
and I remember how
futile everything is

my heart is killing me
she died of an enlarged heart
and I know that I will 
die of something to do 
with my heart

it is already set aflame 
in pain
I took a picture of my spirit dog
she grew wings
and even my mom didn't respond
as if the dream of love
and ghosts saying goodbye
was so ridiculous 

this is why I don't like it here
if you are real 
you are shunned
no one wants to know the truth
no one wants to know
that everything is a dream
until you die

reality is your soul
your consciousness 
everything else is just litter

so float in your trash
then you die
and remember
​what love is