new mommy

there are some things you need to know,
new mommy
because now that I have lost my daughter
to the bullshit being smeared about me

it is time to set the record straight
before I leave town
there is no point in me sticking around
when I no longer have a relationship
with my daughter

this town is excruciatingly expensive
I chose it for the best schools
something you both forgot to think about

anyway that man you are with
is a pathological liar
not only does he lie about money
he lied about the custody agreement
he lied about child support
he lied to you about changing the contract
he blackmailed me
he wanted me out of the picture
so he could keep you in the dark

he has a dark side
his college girl porn addiction
is why he missed most
of his daughters early years
he would come home from work
lock himself in the bathroom
and go at it for hours
he told me he did it at work too
you know he worked in a woman's 
prison right?
he was friends with all the guards
that raped women
and always acted surprised
but he knew 

that and the fact that 
we slept in separate bedrooms
so he could text other women
while I took care of  my child
who was in pain from a disease
he said didn't exist
he just called me crazy
like he still does
and it is so sad that you believe him
because one day you will be the crazy one
that is just how men like him are

on our 10th wedding anniversary
I made all the plans because it 
was always an inconvenience to him
he got really drunk and asked for a threesome
he passed out drunk
and I cried it was just so unromantic

I just wanted you to know
since you are now taking my place
I happily gave him up
but I love my daughter 
and it isn't cool that you 
a fellow mother keeps pretending
that I am the enemy
I know you have already caught
some of his lies 
you seem like a smart woman
so am I 
and my mothering might be over
but my trauma from being treated
like shit is not
I don't believe that lying 
constitutes a good relationship
and it isn't a good model for a child

thanks again for taking my place
it won't be an easy road
have I mentioned I miss my daughter?