pick your poison

while the world is ending
i decide to quit drinking

the medication to fix my broken brain
so i wouldn't want to drink
got a 10/10 on drugs.com

after it built up in my system
it gave me such  a violent reaction
worse than any hangover
i could only drink gatorade
for three days 

one more day on those
pills i would have ended up
in the hospital

another drug 
added to the long list 
of things my body rejects

my intolerance to life
manifests itself
in a myriad of food
and drug allergies

i had an allergic reaction
to shrooms in college
after that i could only
do acid

the last time i didn't 
fake smile
i was drunk
the last time i laughed
i was drunk

now the only
intermission from sadness
is anxiety 

my wine
has been replaced
with never ending
existential terror

i would go for a walk
but i am allergic to trees
and afraid of nuclear fallout
and covid
and people
who aren't afraid
​of these things