Que Sera, Sera

I slept at least eight hours last night, maybe more. My 43rd birthday is a tomorrow. Betrayal, lies, being alienated as a parent. The cold hearted abusive gifts keep on coming!
Still reeling from the news that my daughter has suddenly decided she only wants to live here two days a week and... wait for it...I won't even get to be a weekend Mom, the days Thursday and Friday are her in-school days. She doesn't even want to spend weekends with me. When I got a little teary eyed about it she said "two days are better than none". I choked on my heart then swallowed it. The two lovely nights I had with my daughter were apparently only so I could get that wonderful news. I am terrible at sarcasm hope I am getting it right.
Perhaps it was the miracle of sleep but I am starting to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. My bleeding heart, I cannot win at this because I actually have a heart. I can't tell up from down or inside from out and my mother's intuition tells me my daughter can't either. I guess it is time for me to let go and live because I have been grieving for too long. 
It is never that easy though is it? If I try to hold on to her like I have been it is only going to get worse. 
Looks like I can finally save my money for a life I have only dreamt of, if I don't die from heartache before it is even possible. After getting vaccinated probably in May going to start planning endless travels with the hubby to soothe my broken heart. I am going to start living my dream instead of being trapped and chained to abusive X so he can use my child against me. Have I mentioned he doesn't even live in her school district? So I can't even move and go live in another cheaper warmer state that doesn't have endless winters. I have arthritis, it sucks.I have to be stuck here for another four years and continue getting stomped on.
​Sigh.
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