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I am cold
for several hours now I have been shivering while my dog barks at a spot next to me I know I am not alone in this pain and those who want to comfort me are making the room feel like a refrigerator I sit in the dark with the dead reminding me that being alive is better in my sadness I wonder why they are the only ones here isn't that enough of a sign to remind me of where I belong? my mother once told me to not trust anyone that you could only count on yourself I thought she was jaded I thought she just had enough of people fucking her over now I realize her words were of experience of wisdom right now alone in the dark I am rethinking my entire life what I could take before I can't take anymore I always wanted safety and stability but what is the cost of that? believing in something that doesn't exist unless you create it yourself with boundaries and self respect I keep giving away everything that I am to the man that comes along with a smile he picks me up when I am rock bottom knee deep in demons he slays them with his own I think this man is going to be the one that saves me but I am always left holding emptiness crying holding my own carcass in my hands the dead stand next to me holding their hollow souls we share the pain of knowing how alone all of us really are reality is a jagged line written in red pen
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AuthorMichelle Tinklepaugh Archives
April 2023
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