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![]() my dog has an enlarged heart last night she was struggling to breathe had to go to the animal hospital they gave her oxygen some pills to take home the X ray showed that her heart had gotten worse since last year now she needs to see an animal cardiologist but an available appointment might take a month or longer I just spent the majority of my savings on my teeth a surprise extraction in december a very late annual dental checkup in march that showed I needed a route canal in april a temporary crown last week and today three cavities filled I have no dental insurance I am hoping the animal cardiologist will be cheaper while writing this I had to stop to lift her off the bed so she could drink water even with the pills her breathing is labored I am afraid to close my eyes or leave the room I don't want her to die alone unable to catch her breath when I check on her her eyes are open when they should be closed she is afraid I have been holding back tears all day because I know how this goes I have been taking her to the vet every few weeks since summer and they say it is allergies or just what happens when you get old she is only 9 1/2 her breathing problems are related to her heart so clearly her vet missed the reaper's knock if I could lose loss I would I don't want to keep seeing everything and everyone disappear my dog is dying my best friend who found her for me to cheer me up after I had a miscarriage died five years ago the lie of life is a lonely thing one that always seems to depend on ignoring what your eyes can see and how your heart feels
1 Comment
John Philip Britton
5/18/2021 04:00:29 pm
Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts with me here. I believe that you are already preparing for a harsh time and beyond. I have to wonder whether there is anything actually useful to what some say - that attachment is the root of all suffering. I wish for you transcendence.
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AuthorMichelle Tinklepaugh Archives
April 2023
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