the nightmare above me

i walk this never ending
spiral staircase

at night 
words spill out 
 i go to the places
where i got lost

my stepfather in his recliner
dissolving pain pills on his tongue
he holds my wrist
tells me his dreams

they are just nightmares
he doesn't want me to forget

my first boyfriend
wears cologne
​it comes from a bottle
that looks like a red shotgun shell

my body is still an illusion then
it needs to be 
to survive

i am wallpaper
i am the window
i am the rug
i am the night sky looking in
trapped in this room

you are the nightmare
​above me
some man 
some boy
 who doesn't care

​ i  never stop
picking at the wounds
that you leave