the stark white bones of our souls

thinking about all of you today
my fellow writers and artists
were we all weird in high school?
I went to three different high schools
the last one I tried to stay very invisible
but was voted most unique for the yearbook
along with the one guy that dressed
exactly like Marilyn Manson
who is apparently a rapist now
the real Marilyn Manson
not my sweet friend who never
spoke to me but we gave nods
of respect at our lockers daily
I am sure he went on 
to be something great

anyway I hung out with the foot ball team
no not in that way you perverts
we were all on the school paper
my one extracurricular activity to get into college
and yes they were douchebags that just 
liked the fact that I had a hot single mom
that was never home
would show up when my stable 
boyfriend was unstable yet again
to help me drown my sorrows
by getting drunk fucking their 
teenage cheerleaders in my room
and pissing in my sink
while I took care of that one girl
who wouldn't stop puking

My Mom was never home
had me when she was a teenager
and was dealing with her own shit
her boyfriend that guy with the van
lifted weights while stoned
all oiled up with crisco or sweat
his name was Scotty Mac
and he referred to himself
as the Macster
he looked like the lead singer
from Metallica took pride 
in this with a framed picture
of the guy near his workout shrine
kept Playboys in his bathroom
and had a van with a mattress in it
one time while my mother and I sat
watching one of his epic workouts
he mentioned how cool it would be
if I put on a cheerleader costume
don't worry things turned out alright
my mom's bipolar friend that popped
pills ended up fucking him and ended
their relationship unfortunately
I was the one that walked in on them
I had to deliver the news

yeah I didn't it know it then 
that I would also date such winners
after getting divorced
not sure who would win on worst
rebound boyfriends after divorce
think it would be me
because my last illiterate boyfriend
thought women were holes
and chest bumped me when he got mad
also used to be a crack smoking repo man
I have to admit his stories were fantastic
and he cooked a great steak
trust me dating websites are not for love
no matter what you hear
they are for sad lonely people who want
to fuck or kill themselves

back to my point
after joining all these FB poetry groups
there isn't a day that goes by where 
I am not grateful that I have really found my people
we all have broken hearts
suicidal when the moon is a waning crescent
I think we might be the meek that inherits 
the earth
we hide away in dark corners
writing out the darkest parts of our souls
with the blood of our wounds

​in this stark apocalyptic world 
where guns are the new emoji
and masks are somehow a fashion statement
lets bleed lets vomit
out the shit no one wants to say
this is our time to shine
humanity needs us
grab your pen your computer
sit there alone and write the truth
now is not the time to hide
lets lay the stark white bones of reality
in the path of all this bullshit
while everyone looks at TikTok
we are the record keepers of society
​our souls dictate the future 
so tonight gut your soul
put it on the page
and know that you are preserving
​humanity