the waiting room

 in the middle of the night I wake
air heavy with thoughts
that are not my own
they have come to help me
the dead don't sleep 
and neither can I
they stand before me
with hands outstretched

take our memories
and make them your own
breathe life into the past
we will give you the answers
our stories to ease your mind
your pain is not what you think it is

I sit beside them while the world sleeps
they hold my hand to the flames of their soul
show me that nothing can burn in the light

a man who died in an explosion
at a war he didn't want to fight
is here because we both have PTSD
he can't move on because of his guilt
he describes how we are both alike
that we are waiting at an airport
for our planes to take off
but we can't leave the airport

a woman can't move on because
her sister is still alive and she wants
to watch her life unfold
she misses her and wishes she knew
how much
they want me to know that I am their 
waiting room
we are all waiting for something
we can support each other
they will warn me of things they can see
ahead in my life
as long as I let them stay
until they can move on in their death

one man just doesn't know where to go
and I point him towards the light
where a woman beckons me to come
she doesn't want to see me so sad
the man thanks me and leaves with her

I listen to war stories until dawn
I see what the man sees
his last bits of life
as he watched a bomb explode
on a train 
he was their to protect them
and he feels like a failure because he didn't
I cry for him and he pats my shoulder
tells me my daughter will be ok
she has a few of them watching over her too

once they move on
from the waiting room
they visit me in my dreams
sometimes they even interrupt
a nightmare and wake me up

they show me how to manifest things
with loving light attention to a thought
they whisper kind thoughts upon my awakening
and those days are good days

they remind me not to forget them
or those that follow after them
they remind me that whenever
I am stuck and waiting there is 
always a few of them around for support

I am getting a few new members right now
I welcome them to sit beside me
they ask if this is the waiting room
I joke and say now we are calling it a support
group for lost souls
​
a woman who committed suicide after
the death of her only child takes my hand
and asks if a little boy has been waiting
I tell her he is downstairs
and my dogs have been barking at him
like crazy for a few weeks

everyone in the group forgets there sadness
for awhile as we watch them reunite 
and walk into the light
moments like this are always especially
healing for the group 

at dawn they dissipate
the veil thickens
​and I go back to the living