time is still and time reverses

my dead friends
walk backwards
at night
time is still
and time reverses

as a child
i watched twin peaks
in the night
crosslegged
on the dog-hair-matted
carpet
with bated breath

i was laura palmer
only younger
and not dead

riding my bike
with bloody knees
on empty small town
streets
because it was more
freedom than home

blue couch
closed curtains
cigarette smoke
in the light of the tv

the half moon table
in the kitchen
held the only phone
the only connection
to the outside world
besides the two doors
that no one ever 
dared to knock on

my bedroom felt like 
an attic 
a slanted closet door
a lead-painted window
that stuck stubborn
in the summer
and winter

the bookshelf
and tv
were the only things
that were allowed
to tell secrets