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i remember hiding to drown out the noise the warmth of my own breath in the dark the future is a staircase away this feeling of falling the moon is my bed when i wander the basement of my mind a rat follows an old man gives me free groceries when i have no appetite a wooden throne that is also an electric chair beckons me thank you prison daddy issues for infiltrating my subconscious painters are painting masterpieces in a damp corner i make them pay rent even though there is mold everywhere i am a kid hiding in my closet while my parents are fighting i find a paint can and paint the walls around me maroon i get hungry and eat my parents stale sugar wedding cake topper on the shelf above me it cuts my gums the paint smell makes me sleepy when i wake it is as if it never happened i feel my mother's sadness in her kindness i wonder if she knows i followed the dark tunnel to find her i saw her in the living room when he lost his mind the closet is a portal my past lives and future lives collide the night my mother gets lost i gather grief around me i collect all the unsaid things in the air discarded memories are just all the beauty that has been forgotten everything lost should be found we come back to where we left ourselves i am here painting the walls red stale sugar cracking in my teeth someone is in the closet with me he tells me everything is going to be ok he has no face tells me that pain is my gift time has left me i keep falling he laughs and tells me when i am ready i can paint my own wings just tell me when i hit the ground
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AuthorMichelle Tinklepaugh Archives
April 2023
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