we ride on regrets

that's how it goes
when you dance with the dead

tonight should have been
a night of celebration
and it wasn't

i sat in the darkness
with my signed contract
missing my daughter

wishing i had anyone 
i could trust

the dead put bracelets
on my wrists
or chains
i can't tell anymore

they wrote my book
and i heard them sing
when i signed these
last proofs

i remember reading
this book when i was a kid
titled phone calls from the dead

if only i knew my future then

these chains
only we can hear
the dead and i 
travel through time
we ride on regrets

we sit in basements
on moth eaten couches
knowing that the world
has already failed us

a record player
keeps skipping 
in the dark

I can't hear it anymore
this hell is  real

last night i dreamt
i was vomiting centipedes
and ghosts

when i wake
all i wanted was to back to sleep

my ghosts pin my eyes shut
tape my mouth
pry my ears open
just so i can hear my muffled screams

this is the way it is
this is the way it 
will always be

the tarot card fool
is dancing in front of me
his bells sound flat
his eyes are black

i can't breath
when the dead hug me
i swallow their mothball scent

we laugh at the fluorescent track lights
in the morgue
some people call this light jesus
but we know better

the dead are crushing pens
ink is bleeding everywhere
i finger paint their words
my heart is all palpitations
as they paint their sorrow
on my body

these bruises aren't meant to heal
they whisper in my ear

i try to send them to the stars
to the light we cannot see
and they laugh


​